the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Randomize
