i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
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