Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
