And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
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