yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
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