She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
