I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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