Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
