you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize
