I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Randomize