I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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