i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Randomize
