Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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