Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Randomize
