I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Randomize
