You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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