love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
