so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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