i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Randomize
