im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Randomize
