at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
