When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Randomize
