I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
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