I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
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