I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
