i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Randomize