He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
i need some magic done to my vagina
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize