Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
