dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
