We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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