the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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