Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
