so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
