omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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