If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
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