I heard we made out
if i can run in heels then i can drive
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Randomize
