stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
