called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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