This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
Little spoons don't ask big questions
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Randomize
