I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
