Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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