I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Randomize