My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
