Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
