and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Randomize
