I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize