I'll bet she douches with gravy.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
When did angry sex become our thing?
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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