It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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