I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
