If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
My pussy is not your playground.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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