ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
