Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Randomize
