Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(212): View more from New York

R you on birth control?

(1-212): View more from New York

No, why?

(212): View more from New York

...no reason

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(845): View more from New York

If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.

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(405): View more from Oklahoma

Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?

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(407): View more from Florida

That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up

(347): View more from New York

Yeah I hope she's okay.

(347): View more from New York

I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.

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(316): View more from Kansas

Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?

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