i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Randomize
