So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
