what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize