She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
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