Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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