She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
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