Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
