I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
