Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
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