Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Randomize
