The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I think my moral compass just broke
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