Its about making memories worth repressing
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize