i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
