I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
