apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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