i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
