Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize
