I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize