Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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