Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
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