I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
