Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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